Without a doubt, the adolescent years have been the most difficult for both parents and teens. At this stage, teens are doing exciting new things, but they’re also pushing limits and throwing tantrums. At this time, teens try to separate themselves from their parents and start to assert their own independence. This makes things difficult for the parents and their parenting. Not sharing things, treating parents like strangers, and mood swings—these are all common things during the teen period. This stage is critical for both parents and teens because teenagers are prone to taking on challenges and making unusual decisions.
This makes maintaining a solid and trustworthy relationship with one's parents during the adolescent years even more crucial. Yet being close isn't always simple. When teens reject what they see as parental intrusion, they frequently aren't particularly polite. When asked by their mother how their day was, they might remain silent in contrast to how transparent they are to their friends, with whom they communicate frequently via text messages and social media. A request that dad thought was acceptable can be viewed as an outrage.
If this sounds similar, take a moment to calm yourself by remembering that your child is going through their terrible teens. It is a passing phase, and while your role as a parent may have changed slightly, it is still very important.
Here are 5 key points that a parent should learn while talking to their teens.
Asking direct questions may not be as beneficial as simply remaining silent and listening if you are interested in what is happening in your teen's life. Children are more likely to be honest with their parents if they don't feel compelled to provide information. Remember that even a casual remark on something that happened throughout the day is their way of reaching out, and if you remain open and interested but not nosy, you're likely to hear more from your teen. Listen to them first, and then ask questions in a calm and funny way instead of being rude and bossy.
- Show Trust
Teenagers want to be taken seriously, especially by their parents. Find ways to demonstrate your trust in your teen. Giving someone a privilege shows your trust in their abilities. Let your child know that you believe in them. This will increase their self-confidence and increase the likelihood that they will step up to the plate. Show and express your trust in them; this will help you make the bond even stronger with your teens.
- Dominate your emotions
Even though it's easy to lose control when your teen acts impolitely, refrain from doing the same. Keep in mind that you're an adult, and that when they're unhappy, they have less emotional control and are less able to understand. Before answering, count to ten or take a few deep breaths. Hit pause until you've had a chance to cool off, then continue talking. Remain silent and listen to them if you're not sure yet, and then try to talk and make them understand.
- Have Patience and keep calm
Speaking isn't the only method to communicate; understand what your teen wants and needs, then take a step ahead. So it's fantastic if you can spend time together doing fun activities like cooking and travelling without having personal conversations. Teens need to understand that they may be close to you and share good experiences with you without worrying that you will interrogate them or call them out on the carpet. Calmness is the key to having the best conversation with your teen.
- Don’t be a stranger, be their best friend
Another excellent approach to staying connected is to sit down to a meal as a family. Be their best friends instead of behaving like a stranger. Every family member has the opportunity to check in during dinner conversations and engage in casual conversation about sports, television, or politics. Teens who feel at ease discussing routine matters with their parents are likely to be more forthcoming when more difficult issues arise. Remember, teens share everything with their best friend, so it's better to treat them like friends and make them feel comfortable sharing every problem.
It's almost normal for teens to change as they mature, but if you notice a change in their attitude, behaviour, level of activity, or hunger, pay attention. Similarly, take extra care if you notice them withdrawing or if they stop wanting to do things that used to make them happy. Ask your teen about any adjustments you detect in their ability to function on a daily basis, and provide your support (without being judgmental). They might need your help during this stage, and as parents, it's important to remember these five things while talking to your teens.